As I watch my children growing up in this chaotic world, I am a little stunned about something. It seems that the adults have put all the “hope” for the future on the shoulders of people who don’t even shave yet. When I surf the kiddie cable channels I am amazed at the steady stream of so-called news and environmental propaganda aimed at children. The message is “you can save the world.” Um, isn’t that a lot of pressure to put on a child who probably doesn’t have all their permanent teeth yet?

Why not let children be children? With the availability of media today it is easy for a child to learn about with local murder statistics on a TV at a local restaurant, terrorism plots during talk radio news breaks or read about child molestation cases in the newspaper stand. I think where our children are concerned the children’s song is a great rule of thumb: “Oh be careful little eyes what you see…”

I do not encourage my children to “save the planet” or expose them to unfettered input of the latest worldwide catastrophes or other disasters. (Of course age does make a difference.) I do not keep my children from all news but I do filter what they know because it is my responsibility to keep them safe, and to me that includes emotional safety. I cannot in good conscience fill their heads with the myriad of troubles in today’s world. They do not have the perspective or the frame of reference to process the information they receive. They are egocentric by nature, so it is easy to make everything their fault or to distort their relationship to it.

Children shouldn’t have to look out for their parents; parents look out for the children. The Message 2 Cor. 12:14

As I Christian parent it is up to me to keep drawing my children to God, to nurture that special relationship. If I allow them to repeatedly dwell on the problems in the world their eyes are not on the solution, but the problem. They are not looking to God. They are only filled with anxiety and dismal foreboding.

13 The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. 14 The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: “Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. 15 Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” 16 Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.               The Message Mark 10:13-16

We talk about our responsibility to the planet as God’s stewards and to our fellow man. We are filled with compassion kept in perspective by scripture and prayer. We, as parents, must be careful to keep our children from taking on too much pressure and responsibility before they are adults. Childhood is a time for wonder, for exploration and for learning, not for saving the world. There’s plenty of time for that when they are grown.

18 Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. 19 Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night.                               The Message Deut. 11:18, 19

With all the trappings of Biblical Principle Approach–word studies, 4-Ring, notebooks, the Red Books, Rudiments, etc., you can easily get overwhelmed and frustrated. Your idea of home education is not caught up in books and all that research, but in being with your children, learning alongside them. There is a way to do both.

• Ease into the whole BPA mindset. It takes time and effort to reformulate your ideas of American Christian education, to get a handle on the terminology and to reflect on what you are learning. Give yourself time. How much time? As much as it takes.
• Take one subject and deal with that. Don’t take the whole homeschooling elephant in one bite. You’ll just pull something and you’ll still be hungry.
• Don’t make everything formal. You can ease into word studies and literature studies without making a big announcement. It’s okay to just fold these things into your homeschooling day. Pull out the Bible and the 1828 dictionary and just ask a few questions. The children will do the work for you.
• Lower your expectations. That seems counter-intuitive to BPA philosophy, at least at first blush. But we are home educators, not classroom Master Teachers. We [probably] teach multiple grades with many subjects and to expect to become a Master Teacher in every subject is asking for a breakdown. Just keep ahead of your students. Learn alongside them. Discover things together as you dig into the Word. It’s amazing how lowered expectations can set you free and actually produce better results in the long run.
• Think of teaching deep, not broad. The principles expand through the grades, so you get deeper and deeper, as Ms. Dang says, going 20 years deep. It’s not a smattering of learning but more like digging a well. A well your children can draw from as they learn to teach themselves.
• Take one principle per subject per day. No need to overwhelm baby birds with too much food. It will just fall to the ground. One idea to reflect on and discuss will lead to exciting results.

What challenges do you encounter with the Biblical Principle Approach? If you are new to this methodology, what questions do you have?

Burnout. It’s a buzzword people use a lot. There is a lot of difference between a rough patch and burnout. When I say that word I mean “I cannot do this one more day. I am losing weight and having anxiety attacks. I am severely depressed and very disappointed. I am completely empty.”

I have taken the time to test all of these–so I do know what I am talking about. I am guilty of all of these in recent months. (Yes, all at the same time. I am an all-or-nothing girl, so I don’t do too much halfway.) Thankfully I am making changes so none of these happen again.

1. Change plans–a LOT. Make schedules, lesson plans, buy resources and use them for a week or so and then change things. Blow off school and use excuses. Then you can feel guilty too. Never finish books or complete plans so you are sure you won’t feel a sense of accomplishment and your children won’t be satisfied with completion either.

2. Take God’s place. Make yourself responsible for all sorts of things beyond your control. Stay awake nights thinking about all you think you did wrong that day and never give yourself grace.

3. Isolate yourself. Don’t ever get out of the house. Don’t make friends in real life. Don’t join a HS support group or a co-op. Don’t even go to the library. Just hang out at the house, surrounded by all your perceived shortcomings and brood over things. Don’t do any hobbies either.

4. Put all your identity into your role as a home educating mama. Wrap up your self-worth in your children and their “success.” This requires you to heap on lots of guilt–which, again, is a bonus. Never think about anything but home education and when you introduce yourself make sure you label yourself a home educator first.

5. Never take a break. Keep chugging along like a weary warrior and never pause for anything. Or if you do, then feel–you guessed it–guilty about it. Have school year-round and never take a vacation. Don’t stop to smell the roses or to catch your breath. Ever. Study constantly and prepare lessons relentlessly.

Now you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did, which cost me dearly in the last 6 months. Even one of these can send your home educating dreams off the deep end and you wake up dreading each day. I hope you will avoid these pitfalls and keep things in proper perspective so you can enjoy this season of your life.

Being an all or nothing kind of person, I tend to “go big or go home.” I struggle with the idea of just a little of anything, which is why I avoid certain situations where my tendencies could get me into a lot of trouble. But as I get older I am starting to see the value of incremental living.

Because I still have very small children my life is chopped into a hundred little pieces. There is no lovely flow from one activity to the next. It’s hacked and sawed and sometimes jagged because I am always in one thing when I have to leave to take care of something else. At the end of the day sometimes I see behind me a handful of unfinished projects and the carcasses of the best laid plans in my wake. Sigh. Well, there’s always tomorrow, right?

I have always wanted–and tried to carve out in my day–big chucks of time to work on school. I have to study and prepare my heart and my lessons. I enjoy it and for me it is a necessary activity for our school day to flow smoothly. I have learned something this week: this magical block of time doesn’t exist. It’s a mirage I keep trying to get to but now I realize it’s just not there.

At this time in my life there is no time in my day for hours of uninterrupted study. But I can eat away at the proverbial elephant one bite at a time. So I have resigned myself to small doses. A little study throughout the day, throughout the week, instead of long times at a stretch. A bite at a time the study will get done, the dinner cooked, the children snuggled and the home cleaned.

I am finding that it’s not as difficult as I thought it would be to slip in and out of study mode. And I keep a notebook with me at all times to catch ideas, scriptures or resources that come my way as I move through the day. Like praying without ceasing, I think this studying in small bites all day will leave me more satisfied than gorging anyway. Biblical Principle Approach is about reflective learning and little bites allow me to savor each morsel before I go on to the next. I think I’m going to embrace this idea of living in small bites instead of allowing frustration to take over my thoughts. Then I can truly embrace this time of life and all the small bites it offers.

For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.         Isaiah 28:10

I haven’t updated on our family in a while, and since we are starting a new school year soon (and since it’s open house time at The Homeschool Lounge) I thought I’d bring you up to speed on my brood.

I should start by saying in this open house post that we homeschool because we feel we are called to do it. That is not the case for everyone, but it is for us. And we plan to continue through high school. We do not have a room dedicated to school, so learning happens all over the house (and outside). All of life is school, so we are always learning something. We use the Biblical Principle Approach method and if you are so inclined you can see a link to my philosophy of education in the sidebar.

We school year-round pretty much. We use notebooks. We watch TV. We eat too much fast food and not enough veggies. Sometimes we sleep too late and sometimes we argue. We are not dresses-only. We have no problem with home educators who do things differently than we do.

We also love God with all our hearts. we love to read His word and do good deeds (in secret). We leave each other love notes in our mailboxes and love a good movie together. Music is important to us and you can almost always hear some around here. Prayer is a vital part of our everyday lives as well.

Now on to the kiddos:

Princess G is going into 6th grade. She has grown a lot internally and has been able to take on more responsibility. We are proud of her. Her interest is science, particularly the human body. She loves to work on the computer and visit with friends. She plays the piano too.

Princess S is going into 3rd grade. She LOVES the performing arts. She’s a soft-spoken young lady who makes sure we are always entertained with her stories and songs. She plays piano and has won several awards.

Prince J is 5 and all boy. He loves cars and running super fast in his white lace ups. He recently learned to read, so he got his Golden Ticket on the literacy train. He will start kindergarten lessons. He’s going into his second year of piano lessons.

Prince M, at almost 17 months, is last but certainly not least. He’s learning new words to say every day and he’s a lover, not a fighter. Since he could hold one he’s loved books–hardback books–preferring them over most other toys. God only knows what’s in store for this terrific little guy.

Since I’ll be adding one more to our school day (more formally) I’m looking forward to the challenges and rewards another child brings to the mix. They hall have such unique perspectives and talents that getting them all together is never ever boring. We are also incorporating some ideas from Sue Patrick’s Workbox system. I think it’s going to bring a new vitality to our days that we’ve been lacking. I can go on about all the resources we will be using this year, but perhaps in another post, as this is a pretty big nutshell already.

If I should be so fortunate as to win something from the open house, my first choice would be a one year family subscription to Big Universe and my second choice would be cool shirts from the Homeschool boutique. The rest are great too and I’d love to win anything!

The most powerful tools you can have in your homeschool arsenal is–are you ready for this–a schedule. Many creative types see that word and run the other way. Before you write the idea off hear me out.

Why do I say a schedule is a tool? Because it gives you control of your time. Because it helps you. It helps you keep on task and lessens frustration. That’s one handy tool.

Why do I say it is powerful? Because it controls time. Well, your time anyway. It’s an amazing little tool with slots for all your tasks, big and small. A schedule seems to magically create time out of thin air, giving you time to create guilt free–time to think and explore and experiment.  And it can transform your day from chaos to calm and that is powerful.

Why do I say it is the most powerful? Because everything else rests on this. You don’t get enough rest without it. You don’t have all your supplies ready without it. You don’t have a clean workspace without it. You don’t have school without it.

A schedule is the single most important gift you can give your family. Maybe you call it a routine. Maybe yours is written or maybe it’s just in your head. However you do it, if you will commit to using a schedule you will see that your creative time is used more wisely, that you are more productive and less distracted when doing a creative project. Your materials and supplies will be ready. Your workspace will be ready. Your mind will be ready.

There are a thousand ways to do a schedule. Find one that worls for your family and try it out for 6 weeks and see if I’m not right. See if you aren’t more creative and less stressed.

When it comes to preparing your children (daughters and sons) for adulthood, kitchen skills can be a little overwhelming. All that goes into keeping a good kitchen is daunting, especially if you are a perfectionist or feel you lack skills in this area. Pick recipes from a favorite cookbook or family album and get to practicing.

photo courtesy *Susie*

Part one in this series is a list of recipes. A good cook does not need a hundred recipes. Ten simple recipes are all you need to master. This will give your child a wide variety of menus that will serve them well. Once you master each of these recipes you are able to improvise and create an almost endless menu. And they are all easy to double or triple for crowd pleasing meals too.

Pancakes. Making good pancakes takes skill, and making the batter from scratch is helpful. Adding a couple of Tbsp of oil transforms it into waffle mix. You can shake things up by adding fruit or other toppings and pancakes are a winner for breakfast or dinner.

Soup. Knowing how to make a basic soup is essential. Whatever soup your family loves most, learning a basic soup is important. Once you do, you can vary the ingredients to make an infinite variety for any season of the year. (And your college student will never have to settle for Ramen or canned soup!)

Basic spaghetti sauce. This is the basis for almost any variety of Italian dish. A good tomato based spaghetti sauce can feed an army of friends and family and it’s an inexpensive way to impress someone you love. Ladle it over pasta or veggies for a winner every time.

A casserole. Casseroles are another dish that you can change up a million ways. Once you understand the basics you can add any number of ingredients and always get it right.

Baked bird (for meat eaters). Another simple skill that will take you far in the kitchen. Start with a chicken. And when you are feeling ambitious, try your hand at making gravy with no lumps!

Cookies. Knowing how to bake cookies is essential. They are great gifts and snacks. They are easy to make and fun to serve.

Cake. There is really no substitute to homemade cake (except maybe angel food!). Basic cakes are not difficult and the results are tasty. And a college kid or newlywed can afford to make a cake a lot easier than buy one.

Chili. Another dinnertime staple. Vegetarian or meaty, leftovers are great too. Good chili will keep people coming around.

White sauce. This is a foundation for many things like casseroles, mac and cheese and some soups.

Bread. Again, this is a money saver. Making your own rolls and bread is all natural and you can’t beat the smell of fresh baked bread. There are tons of recipes out there to experiment with to find one that is easy and mistake-proof (most of the time). Cornbread, quick bread, yeast bread, pick something and work on it.

These ten basic recipes are things your kids can work on from upper elementary age so that by the time they leave your home they are armed with somple but tasty recipes that will save money and keep them–and their friends–happy for years. Of course, there may be things that your family loves that you wish to substitute.

Optional extras to learn: pie crust, eggs of all kinds.

Next time: 10 basic kitchen skills to master

I used to bristle a little when people would ask me what I “do,” only because my answer seemed to disappoint them. It implies that work outside the home is somehow more valuable than what I “do” within these four walls. Now that I have given it some thought, I am glad to say that home educating is my job. People with a “job” have:

A defined task(s). I have the task of teaching my kids. Love it. Best job I have ever had. And I have to plan. I have a defined set of tasks that I prepare for. I am not a mom that does well with unstructured or vague school time. I know that all of life is learning but I am also obligated to make sure they can work with numbers, read and write and know something about the natural world. For my family that is best done with a set time for lessons and my kids look forward (most of the time) to learning something new that I have prepared ahead for them.

Measurable goals. My Bible is my standard. It’s filled with my goals. I try to evaluate myself regularly and I ask my

photo courtesy Banalities

husband to do so as well. Once in a while, when I’m feeling especially brave, I will ask my kids how I’m doing. That always gets me more than I bargained for. They are also surprisingly gentle. They often focus on different things than I do and they help me lighten up a bit.

I also set yearly and long term goals for each of my children, and for our home education in general.

Opportunity for advancement. I get promoted every year. It’s never boring and I get to constantly experience new things alongside my kiddos.

A schedule. There are certain hours for working certain jobs. I find we are the most productive when I guard our homeschooling hours. If I schedule time that is dedicated to learning and actually stay home to homeschool, amazing things happen. My children thrive on routine and a regular schedule is a tool that will make learning easier and more productive.

Commitment. Companies expect commitment and loyalty. I have to be invested if I am to do a good job. I believe if you are going to homeschool you have to be all in or it won’t work. When you are tentative your kids sense the wavering and school won’t go as smoothly. Whatever you do, do with all your might. If you are going to homeschool, why not go for it? You will have a much more fulfilling experience when you do.

A boss. I work for Him. I’m not trying to sound super-spiritual, but it’s true. He’s Who I most care to please. I look forward to the day I hope to hear “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

Remuneration. My pay comes in the form of well-written papers, drive-by hugs, and peanut butter sandwiches with my kids as we watch the clouds. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all about the “Benjamins.” When my daughter won the essay contest I was paid. My hard work teaching her paid off. I don’t think of their learning success as evaluation as much as payment. And when they are able to receive scholarships to university because of what we have done in our little homeschool, I really will get paid.

Benefits. I have a day that I can schedule and a life that I order, with God’s help. I have vacations, days off (for errands) and sick days (not mine, theirs). My benefits include snuggling to read in the middle of the day and being a part of my childrens’ light bulb moments. Benefits are not always evident, so you have to look out for them and be aware–things like flexibility of schedule for things like doctor visits, not having to get out in the cold and snow to take them to school, being able to travel, taking special field trips to enhance learning and tailoring your child’s lessons to their learning style and bent.

photo courtesy m@rg

I’m convinced of it. The over-achievers are distracted with perfection and, well, over achieving. Their parents make sure they always get a trophy and always get an A and that they always feel good.

The slackers aren’t a threat because they are mostly lazy–mentally, if not physically. Their parents might not make them do chores if they don’t feel like it. They may just lack ambition and their parents don’t require more. But they are not doing much. And they aren’t going to do much. At least not unless their feelings say so.

It’s the average kids who are gonna get ‘er done. They’re the ones with a healthy self-image and a solid work ethic. Their parents aren’t so concerned with their kids’ feelings. They’re more concerned with their character–which they know is lacking at times. These kids know they aren’t always the best but they’re okay with that. The average kids know their limitations. They know they have to work hard to do things because not everything comes easily to them. But they appreciate the reward of hard work and know that if they try they can probably do it. And if they work really hard maybe they can do it really well.

There are average kids in the news every day, doing little works with love. Helping a neighbor. Writing a pen pal. Maybe even winning an award. But they are still just going to scouts, practicing their music, playing outside, doing their chores. They may not excel at much of anything but they are really good at being average, being themselves.

They know mistakes are for learning, not covering up or running from. Failure can be an excellent teacher and they learn well. Their parents probably didn’t spend a lot of time telling them how they are the most special kid ever and how they are practically perfect in every way. But their parents didn’t insult them or require nothing of them either. Their parents are probably telling them that sometimes life is messy, but they’re good kids and that if they work hard they will have a good life. So they do, and they do. And I pray that more average kids get the idea that average isn’t so average anymore. And that they will band together and take over the world–in an average way.

They know that average is a really good place to be.

The Lord is my Shepherd…He makes me…He leads me…He guides me… (Ps. 23)

A shepherd is always on call. Day or night, he must be prepared to lead his sheep to food and water or away from danger. Sheep are not good at finding their own sustenance and must be led. I cannot leave my children to fend for themselves. God gave them to me and I am responsible for them. I need His guidance to in turn guide them. I must keep my spirit sensitive to God so that I can lead them as I should.

For a sheep to follow, he must be sure it’s the right voice. He must trust the shepherd by what he hears. As long as I get my direction from the Lord, I can rest assured that my guidance comes from Him. Also I must train them to hear God’s voice for themselves. The home is the ideal place to learn to hear God’s voice. It is (or should be) a safe training ground where children can pray, hear God’s voice and test it with God’s Word to see if it really is the Lord. What a privilege to guide my children as they hear from God for themselves!

Sheep must also trust that the shepherd knows what is best. They believe that he has their best interest at heart and that he would never lead them “astray.” I must check my attitudes, my habits and ny behaviour. Are they misbehaving, or are they simply imitating me, being led astray by my poor example? My children have to trust that I am always concerned with their well-being. It is my job to make sure they are protected from all that is evil and exposed to all that is godly.

Sometimes guiding the sheep means correcting. Some sheep don’t want to stay in their fence. They want to wander into pasture they see on the other side. They must be corrected with a gentle but firm voice and sometimes moved to prevent them from hurting themselves. How often do we see our children longing for the pasture on the other side, even if their pasture is better? We must lovingly correct and steer them back to what is best for them.

As a mother shepherdess, I am always on the lookout for the very best pasture. There they can eat to their fill and rest contented that I won’t let anything happen to them.