Two days until we start our new school year! I am peacefully happy about how this is working out for us. In our homeschool we follow the calendar of the private school my daughters attend. They start on Thursday, so guess what. So do we.

My 7yo son has bugged me since Christmas break to homeschool him again. Once we decided to do just that he has never looked back. He hasn’t wavered or questioned his choice once, even when we registered the girls for school and went shopping for school supplies. I am so impressed with his quiet confidence in his choice.

Unlike him, I spend too much time rehashing and questioning and second guessing most every important choice I make. I don’t just let the decision hang out there, small and vulnerable. After I toss it out I quickly reel it back in, clutching it,  frantically searching for any perceived flaw. Upon closer inspection I deem it unworthy and toss it onto the heap with the rest of the changed decisions. Then I make another decision and start the process over again.

Those little decisions never reach maturity. They never see the light of day. I hang onto the familiar, even when it’s not in my (or my family’s) best interest. I pray Jack’s unknowing example will help me be braver as the months go on and that some of my wee decisions will have the chance to turn into great things.

Let your “Yes,” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No…” James 5:12 NKJV

This is another fantastic post from SisterLisa. This is a great topic that I am glad she has addressed. It’s easy to get your life out of balance but she gives you practical advice I really appreciate.

Many moms of faith have very busy schedules at home and it has limited their opportunities to reach out to minister in their own towns, but can reach out to minister to their online communities quite effectively. In this day of a growing awareness of the incredible need for powerful moms to be at home to raise and educate their children, we see an ever increasing need to minister to one another online.

We were once a part of a church that emphasized outreach in their ministry, but our lives were so busy that we couldn’t fit everything in to our schedule. It grieved us to hear the leadership was not in support of online ministry, but we continued nonetheless. However, even with online ministry we need to find a healthy way to balance our online ministries and our home. Sometimes we can be physically at home full time, but not mentally or spiritually.

There have been countless times in the past when I have been off balance. Those times when I am consumed with in- depth thought as I type out an article, I have been oblivious to the kids saying, “Mom? Mom! LISA!” and all of a sudden I am snapped into reality by my own children who wondered ‘where I was’ even though I was sitting right in front of them.

I am thankful that my husband and family have been supportive of my blogging and that they see the need for my online time to be a vehicle for me to express my faith and minister to others, but we have to re-evaluate my time and each week is adjusted as needed, because life has its way of throwing curve balls.

These are just a few things I take into consideration for balancing my home and online time for faith.

A blog post has lasting influence. The beauty of writing a powerful faith provoking article can have insurmountable opportunities to minister to millions of people all over the world, whereas ministering in town has limited reach. I’m not intending to minimize ministering in town, for the words you speak to a broken mama at the nursery counter can positively affect her faith for years to come. The love you show people in your town can lead them to healing. However, when you’re blogging your faith effectively, those words remain online for many to read and be fed through. Don’t underestimate your online time to minister to others.

Set aside a block of time to write uninterrupted. I have Sundays set aside for my uninterrupted time. My family knows that Sunday is my day to write several blog posts that will minister to my readers and online friends. Just as I would not interrupt my husband ministering in real time to a homeless man, they do not interrupt my writing.Family still comes first. Even though I want my family to respect my writing day, I will pause as necessary to minister to them as well. Thankfully, my husband is home on Sundays and takes care of things on that day for me, but I’m still a mom who has kids with needs. Moms can be a little lighthouse for our families and keeping a good schedule can be a lantern.

Prepare for your writing day in advance. If you don’t want to cook a large meal on your writing day, prepare something the day before. You can make a larger meal earlier in the week and save it for your writing day. We often have fajita leftovers or chicken in the slow cooker.

Take breaks. This isn’t always the easiest thing for me since I love writing, but we need to take breaks from the computer and re-enter the realm of the home. Not only do we need to be mentally home for the kids, but we need to make time for our husbands too.

Schedule your commenting on blogs and other forum conversations. The online community is filled with people from all different time zones and we can easily get sucked into the computer screen at any time day or night. They aren’t going to ‘fall’ if we aren’t online to answer their questions. We aren’t the Holy Spirit. Even if there was such a thing as a curfew where the internet can’t be accessed worldwide, people would still live life and be able to walk by faith without us.

Remain humble. A mom who has left the realm of humility and put herself on a pedestal of pride can destroy a family and her online ministry. Be willing to listen to your family asking you to step away from the computer for family time and don’t assume that you have all the answers for everyone online. It’s perfectly acceptable to downsize ministry to take care of the family first.

(Doesn’t that phrase just make you happy?)

Good. Things. Good things.

What are good things and why should we care about them?

Good things, the best things, are things you can touch, like kisses and hugs.

They are things you can’t, like laughter—and tears.

They are things that cost money, like a safe home.

And things that are free, like a smile.

Good things are everywhere and nowhere.

We care about them because they somehow make our lives better. Good things always do.

What are your good things?

Hope is sometimes not easily embraced. When in the throes of trouble sometimes it is easier to hold hope at arm’s length, to wallow in the negative feelings of the moment instead of holding hope close to the chest, allowing it to permeate the soul. Hope is all sunshine, warm and life-energizing. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain by embracing the hope that Christ offers.

It is not my nature to hold to hope, at least not on a regular basis. I tend to let my flesh run free and wallow in the muck of sadness, frustration and self pity. In the darkness it is painful to shine the hope that heals. My spiritual eyes have adjusted to the darkness and the shock  of light hurts. But once the eyes adjust to the warm rays I can see the Hand extended to raise me from the mire, that hand that was always there, waiting for my hopeful embrace.

I was snuggling with my almost 3 year old this morning. He had his ear to my chest when he suddenly exclaimed, “Oh! I hear your feelings!”

“What do they sound like?”

“Like a roar bear.”

He doesn’t know how right he is.

My emotions are like a whirlwind, a howling storm of misplaced desires with a flurry of unanswered questions. What is to be done when the storm that rages is on the inside?

…he told the wind to pipe down and said to the sea, “Quiet! Settle down!” The wind ran out of breath; the sea became smooth as glass.  Mark 4:39 The Message

I run to Jesus. When I can’t calm the storm I call on the One who can.

And He does.

Ever had something so finger lickin’ good that you just had to have the recipe? So you work up the courage to ask and when you get it you realize you can’t duplicate it because there’s one ingredient you don’t have–secret sauce.

It’s a blend of spices and flavorings so potent, so tasty, so irresistible that you can’t help eating it until your tummy aches. Even then you want more. You liked it so much that just thinking about it makes your mouth water. When you get some you are already thinking about the next time you can get some. That’s some serious gastric goodness.

So have you ever met a homeschool family that left you feeling like that? They seem to really enjoy what they are doing. They are inspiring and you think they have something you want to duplicate. You leave wondering how on earth you can recreate what you are craving. Well, I’m about to give you the recipe to the secret sauce so you can create your own taste-tingling recipe at home and put your own twist on it. It’s not a mystery but it is important.

This secret sauce is the key to maintaining for the long haul, for keeping things hoppin’ and happenin’. Keep in mind this is generic secret sauce. Your own secret sauce may include devotions, prayer time or something else. That’s how you make it your own secret sauce. If you think things are stale, maybe a dash of special sauce is just what you need.

What’s in your secret sauce?

In case no one has noticed, I’ve been MIA around here. There are several reasons I want to share, hopefully to encourage some of you home educators. I hope my story isn’t too common, only because I don’t want anyone to go through what I did.

It all started more then three years ago. It began slowly and grew to take over my life. It became a giant obstacle that I couldn’t see around or get past. It was choking the very life out of me. It was, in a word, anxiety.

In the beginning it was just annoying but easy enough to manage. But like a cancer it grew and grew. It moved in, and brought with it depression. My days became an inky string of endless weeks. I struggled from hour to hour at times, trying to stay focused, trying not to panic. Many nights I paced the floor, my heart pounding out of my chest, trying to hang on until the crisis passed. I lost weight and looked ill. Many days I really felt like I might die and that was terrifying to me.

There were visits to the ER, to the doctor, to the counselor and [sometimes] to church. Just getting out of bed was a chore, and  trying to homeschool was completely overwhelming. I cried sobbed often. All of life seemed like a dark hole from which there was no hope of escape. No hope. None.

I had to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I had to put my children in school. The decision wasn’t hard because I think school is evil. It was hard because I thought I was a failure. I thought I was supposed to homeschool, so I was letting my family down because I couldn’t get myself together. I truly believe I was called to homeschool, so this wasn’t making sense to me.

I also had to get a job to pay for school, so that was a shock to my world as well. But it has been a good shock. I have met new people, gotten out of the house, done hard things and gotten a new perspective. And the money I make as a ICU RN is a nice addition to our household budget. The children have enjoyed school and I have also enjoyed delegating the educational responsibility for a while and simply wearing the hat of “mom.” I got a haircut and some new clothes because I actually felt like dressing up again. Hope has dawned on the inside, shining warm rays of joy in my heart. Thanks to God, counseling and medication I have finally returned to my “normal” and it is terrific.

This wasn’t a result of homeschooling per se, but of my response to it. I became obsessed with perfection, doing just the right thing to make sure my children “turned out right” and it was suffocating all of us. I was trying to be God, trying to ensure that if enough things were done right then they would be okay.

Looking back now, in a balanced state of mind, I would take my old self up in my arms and just hold her for a long time. I would give her a long rest and a cup of tea and nurture her. I would make sure her expectations were not too high and that she remembered to laugh and to shake off that nagging self-criticism. I would see that she had a real hobby and real life friends and time to breathe without guilt.

Will I homeschool again? I don’t know. I really hope so. Right now I am saying that I am on sabattical for a year. I am praying about what God has for our family after that. But I am still sharing my thoughts here, encouraging home educators, offering my ideas on BPA and life and whatever else comes along. I hope you’ll continue on this life’s journey with me. I always enjoy another friend on this journey through life.

The seven deadly sins, as the Catholics have labeled them, are a great picture of sins that home educators often struggle with. I believe God can keep these sins far from our doors if we turn to Him.

Lust

Lust is a general lack of self-control. Whether it is the lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh or the pride of life, this sin is a challenging one. We can lust after food, other people’s lives, material possessions and recognition. We can want things that are not for us, are not part of God’s plan. Wanting something we should not have is lusting.

Self-control is the antidote: control in your time, talents, resources, energy, emotions. Christian self control, that is being independently dependent upon Christ, will prevent lust from getting a grip on your heart.

courtesy ryk_kneethling

Gluttony

Doing too much in a lesson can be a form of gluttony. Stuffing ourselves full until we no longer enjoy what we are consuming is not God’s best for us. You can tell when your child has had enough lesson. When we keep shoveling it into their heads the joy leaves and a tsunami of frustration wells up to knock them over.

Temperance: Keep your portions small. Small bites are nice. Keep them wanting just a little more. (And it will help keep you from burning out too!)

Greed

Not willing to share time or resources is just plain greedy. I don’t mean that in a “redistribution of wealth” kind of way, where I decide how much is enough for you and take the rest. What I am talking about is a heart attitude of stinginess, of “Us four and no more,” stuffing your home full of supplies you don’t need, refusing to share your time with others, or imparting knowledge and skills to those that can benefit from your expertise.

Thrift is a good antidote. Only buy what you need/will use and then stop. But also be generous with yourself. Offer to teach a co-op class or help a home educating family with your experiences. You will never be sorry you gave of yourself when you allow God to repay you.

Sloth

Laziness in planning or execution and spiritual laziness is a sin sometimes of omission rather than commission. Before we know it we have let things slip and just got lazy in grading papers or planning lessons. It can even be a failure to realize or utilize your gifts and talents.

Diligence will knock sloth right out, and it’s not at all complicated to do: Plan. Work the plan. Evaluate the plan. Simple enough, right?

Wrath

Anger toward your children, inward toward yourself or toward a “system” is toxic. It is not something you want to play around with. Anger, when it festers, can turn to bitterness and eventually hopelessness. It is a deadly downward spiral

Gratitude can keep your anger at bay. Focusing on what you have and who you have keeps your heart thankful, not angry.

Envy

Wanting what others have, in life or learning, thinking you deserve it more is sinful. Grass is always greener…not. Don’t ever envy what others have. You only see what others want you to see, a snapshot in time. God alone knows what is best for you. Prayerfully ask Him to help you with any envy you may have. He’s just waiting for you to ask.

Contentment–enjoying your situation, your home, your family, your life–brings a smile to God’s face. We are happiest when we take the apostle Paul’s advice and be content, whatever state we are in.

Pride

Pride is simply thinking your have it all together or your materials/methods are superior, thinking you are more important than you are. that sounds harsh but it’s the truth. We don’t want to admit it because that is this sin’s nature. Pride doesn’t recognize its own reflection.

Humility helps us keep a proper perspective of the world and our place in it. Humility and her cousin meekness can transform a heart puffed full of self into one that is broken with what breaks God’s heart.

I hope this has given you some food for thought. God bless you on your journey as a woman, wife and mother teacher. Christ makes a way in the desert and streams in the wilderness. He will make a way for us out of any sin we may notice in our lives, intentional or accidental.

…if only I may finish my course with joy…

Acts 20:24 AMP (emphasis mine)

This is part of my life scripture. It is one that is dear to me and only recently I have seen it anew. There are three things in this lovely passage that I want to emphasize.

Finish

I am to finish, whatever that means for me. For some home educators it’s graduation. For others it’s somewhere along the way. No one can tell you where that is but God. You just want to make sure you are on His schedule, His timing. God’s into completing things. He’s not one to leave unfinished projects and neither should we, especially in the home education realm.

(my) Course

I have a specific path. Part of it is a mother, part a wife, part a sister, a daughter, a friend. My course happens to include home education. It’s in my DNA. He hard wired me for this and equipped me for it. He knew my faults and trusted I could do this anyway. With His guidance and tender mercies I can, but not in my own strength.

And I have to stick to my course, not another’s. It’s so easy to compare, to feel inadequate and to judge. We must take care to keep to the path God has planned for us. Our goal is not to finish someone else’s course, but our own.

Joy

This is the hard part (at least for me). We may not finish our course at all, but if we do, it’s too often through gritted teeth with a bad attitude. His yoke is easy; His burden is light. It’s not enough to just get through it. Lots of people can do that. It’s the fruit of joy that sets us apart, making our lives tantalizing to those around us. Even in the rough spots on our course we have fixed our eyes on the prize. No, not graduation or smart children or even strong Christians. Our prize is that heavenly reward, that “well done, thou good and faithful servant.” It’s the fellowship with Him as we move from day to day that renews us and brings us the joy we need to keep going.

There truly can be joy in the journey. We can be content in the now and see God working all through our busy days. We can finish our course with joy, which is all I aim to do.

What is your life scripture?

Burnout. It’s a buzzword people use a lot. There is a lot of difference between a rough patch and burnout. When I say that word I mean “I cannot do this one more day. I am losing weight and having anxiety attacks. I am severely depressed and very disappointed. I am completely empty.”

I have taken the time to test all of these–so I do know what I am talking about. I am guilty of all of these in recent months. (Yes, all at the same time. I am an all-or-nothing girl, so I don’t do too much halfway.) Thankfully I am making changes so none of these happen again.

1. Change plans–a LOT. Make schedules, lesson plans, buy resources and use them for a week or so and then change things. Blow off school and use excuses. Then you can feel guilty too. Never finish books or complete plans so you are sure you won’t feel a sense of accomplishment and your children won’t be satisfied with completion either.

2. Take God’s place. Make yourself responsible for all sorts of things beyond your control. Stay awake nights thinking about all you think you did wrong that day and never give yourself grace.

3. Isolate yourself. Don’t ever get out of the house. Don’t make friends in real life. Don’t join a HS support group or a co-op. Don’t even go to the library. Just hang out at the house, surrounded by all your perceived shortcomings and brood over things. Don’t do any hobbies either.

4. Put all your identity into your role as a home educating mama. Wrap up your self-worth in your children and their “success.” This requires you to heap on lots of guilt–which, again, is a bonus. Never think about anything but home education and when you introduce yourself make sure you label yourself a home educator first.

5. Never take a break. Keep chugging along like a weary warrior and never pause for anything. Or if you do, then feel–you guessed it–guilty about it. Have school year-round and never take a vacation. Don’t stop to smell the roses or to catch your breath. Ever. Study constantly and prepare lessons relentlessly.

Now you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did, which cost me dearly in the last 6 months. Even one of these can send your home educating dreams off the deep end and you wake up dreading each day. I hope you will avoid these pitfalls and keep things in proper perspective so you can enjoy this season of your life.