Why not let children be children? With the availability of media today it is easy for a child to learn about with local murder statistics on a TV at a local restaurant, terrorism plots during talk radio news breaks or read about child molestation cases in the newspaper stand. I think where our children are concerned the children’s song is a great rule of thumb: “Oh be careful little eyes what you see…”

I do not encourage my children to “save the planet” or expose them to unfettered input of the latest worldwide catastrophes or other disasters. (Of course age does make a difference.) I do not keep my children from all news but I do filter what they know because it is my responsibility to keep them safe, and to me that includes emotional safety. I cannot in good conscience fill their heads with the myriad of troubles in today’s world. They do not have the perspective or the frame of reference to process the information they receive. They are egocentric by nature, so it is easy to make everything their fault or to distort their relationship to it.

Children shouldn’t have to look out for their parents; parents look out for the children. The Message 2 Cor. 12:14

As I Christian parent it is up to me to keep drawing my children to God, to nurture that special relationship. If I allow them to repeatedly dwell on the problems in the world their eyes are not on the solution, but the problem. They are not looking to God. They are only filled with anxiety and dismal foreboding.

13 The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. 14 The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: “Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. 15 Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” 16 Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.               The Message Mark 10:13-16

We talk about our responsibility to the planet as God’s stewards and to our fellow man. We are filled with compassion kept in perspective by scripture and prayer. We, as parents, must be careful to keep our children from taking on too much pressure and responsibility before they are adults. Childhood is a time for wonder, for exploration and for learning, not for saving the world. There’s plenty of time for that when they are grown.

18 Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. 19 Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night.                               The Message Deut. 11:18, 19

If you believe that your success is based on the success of your children, beware. That’s a lot of pressure for you both and it will lead to burnout, or at least frustration. It’s akin to stage moms and sports moms. They are nothing if their children aren’t successful. I found myself falling into this dangerous pattern. I put so much pressure on myself to make sure my children would be successful that I found myself totally empty and discouraged. I had bumped God right out off the throne and put myself there instead. Bad idea. I do not make a good God. I had to realize and give God His rightful place again.

As a Christian, I believe the success of my children ultimately rests with God. I can facilitate but He alone can bring the fruit.

I planted the seed, Apollos watered the plants, but God made you grow. 1 Cor. 3:6 The Message

God makes things grow. In BPA we are all about planting seeds but we need to make sure that we stick to our job description. If we remember our place then we can shake off that weight of legacy and embrace the here and now, trusting God with the future.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.              Heb 12:1,2 KJV

This article (and my other passion) got me thinking about what I do here online. While it’s good and helpful and sometimes I dare say necessary, it is something my family, even though they participate by default, know very little of this part of my life. I don’t sit and read them my posts or share articles from other moms that bless me. They don’t know most of what I share here, not because I have a secret but I suppose it just never seemed necessary–at least not at this time.

But what about later, when they are older, when they have children of their own and are filled with questions, or when they are searching for more homeschool memories, the little memories that are crowded out by more urgent matters. I could just point them to this URL and let them search, like any stranger could, probing for information and answers. I don’t want a cold computer screen sharing my thoughts on this season of life with them. I think I can do better than that.

I have decided to keep a written record of the posts I feel are the most poignant to my family. I want a sort of scrapbook, more of a commonplace book about our homeschool years, filled with blog posts, pictures and all the other memories that make everyday life interesting. It will be in my own handwriting (ugh) and filled with my thoughts and dreams and hopes and yes, even fears, with those who mean the most to me.

This is a gift, something I can leave as a legacy, my blog posts and more, written by my own hand. Who doesn’t love finding treasures like that up in Gramma’s attic? We all love poring over old letters and pictures. Who wouldn’t love to hear great gramma’s thoughts on a particular time of life? Family is a big deal and I don’t want to deprive mine of the part of my life I share with all of you.

Commonplace books on our family. Now there’s a treasure worth leaving future generations.

Because I still have very small children my life is chopped into a hundred little pieces. There is no lovely flow from one activity to the next. It’s hacked and sawed and sometimes jagged because I am always in one thing when I have to leave to take care of something else. At the end of the day sometimes I see behind me a handful of unfinished projects and the carcasses of the best laid plans in my wake. Sigh. Well, there’s always tomorrow, right?

I have always wanted–and tried to carve out in my day–big chucks of time to work on school. I have to study and prepare my heart and my lessons. I enjoy it and for me it is a necessary activity for our school day to flow smoothly. I have learned something this week: this magical block of time doesn’t exist. It’s a mirage I keep trying to get to but now I realize it’s just not there.

At this time in my life there is no time in my day for hours of uninterrupted study. But I can eat away at the proverbial elephant one bite at a time. So I have resigned myself to small doses. A little study throughout the day, throughout the week, instead of long times at a stretch. A bite at a time the study will get done, the dinner cooked, the children snuggled and the home cleaned.

I am finding that it’s not as difficult as I thought it would be to slip in and out of study mode. And I keep a notebook with me at all times to catch ideas, scriptures or resources that come my way as I move through the day. Like praying without ceasing, I think this studying in small bites all day will leave me more satisfied than gorging anyway. Biblical Principle Approach is about reflective learning and little bites allow me to savor each morsel before I go on to the next. I think I’m going to embrace this idea of living in small bites instead of allowing frustration to take over my thoughts. Then I can truly embrace this time of life and all the small bites it offers.

For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.         Isaiah 28:10

I should start by saying in this open house post that we homeschool because we feel we are called to do it. That is not the case for everyone, but it is for us. And we plan to continue through high school. We do not have a room dedicated to school, so learning happens all over the house (and outside). All of life is school, so we are always learning something. We use the Biblical Principle Approach method and if you are so inclined you can see a link to my philosophy of education in the sidebar.

We school year-round pretty much. We use notebooks. We watch TV. We eat too much fast food and not enough veggies. Sometimes we sleep too late and sometimes we argue. We are not dresses-only. We have no problem with home educators who do things differently than we do.

We also love God with all our hearts. we love to read His word and do good deeds (in secret). We leave each other love notes in our mailboxes and love a good movie together. Music is important to us and you can almost always hear some around here. Prayer is a vital part of our everyday lives as well.

Now on to the kiddos:

Princess G is going into 6th grade. She has grown a lot internally and has been able to take on more responsibility. We are proud of her. Her interest is science, particularly the human body. She loves to work on the computer and visit with friends. She plays the piano too.

Princess S is going into 3rd grade. She LOVES the performing arts. She’s a soft-spoken young lady who makes sure we are always entertained with her stories and songs. She plays piano and has won several awards.

Prince J is 5 and all boy. He loves cars and running super fast in his white lace ups. He recently learned to read, so he got his Golden Ticket on the literacy train. He will start kindergarten lessons. He’s going into his second year of piano lessons.

Prince M, at almost 17 months, is last but certainly not least. He’s learning new words to say every day and he’s a lover, not a fighter. Since he could hold one he’s loved books–hardback books–preferring them over most other toys. God only knows what’s in store for this terrific little guy.

Since I’ll be adding one more to our school day (more formally) I’m looking forward to the challenges and rewards another child brings to the mix. They hall have such unique perspectives and talents that getting them all together is never ever boring. We are also incorporating some ideas from Sue Patrick’s Workbox system. I think it’s going to bring a new vitality to our days that we’ve been lacking. I can go on about all the resources we will be using this year, but perhaps in another post, as this is a pretty big nutshell already.

If I should be so fortunate as to win something from the open house, my first choice would be a one year family subscription to Big Universe and my second choice would be cool shirts from the Homeschool boutique. The rest are great too and I’d love to win anything!

A defined task(s). I have the task of teaching my kids. Love it. Best job I have ever had. And I have to plan. I have a defined set of tasks that I prepare for. I am not a mom that does well with unstructured or vague school time. I know that all of life is learning but I am also obligated to make sure they can work with numbers, read and write and know something about the natural world. For my family that is best done with a set time for lessons and my kids look forward (most of the time) to learning something new that I have prepared ahead for them.

Measurable goals. My Bible is my standard. It’s filled with my goals. I try to evaluate myself regularly and I ask my

photo courtesy Banalities

husband to do so as well. Once in a while, when I’m feeling especially brave, I will ask my kids how I’m doing. That always gets me more than I bargained for. They are also surprisingly gentle. They often focus on different things than I do and they help me lighten up a bit.

I also set yearly and long term goals for each of my children, and for our home education in general.

Opportunity for advancement. I get promoted every year. It’s never boring and I get to constantly experience new things alongside my kiddos.

A schedule. There are certain hours for working certain jobs. I find we are the most productive when I guard our homeschooling hours. If I schedule time that is dedicated to learning and actually stay home to homeschool, amazing things happen. My children thrive on routine and a regular schedule is a tool that will make learning easier and more productive.

Commitment. Companies expect commitment and loyalty. I have to be invested if I am to do a good job. I believe if you are going to homeschool you have to be all in or it won’t work. When you are tentative your kids sense the wavering and school won’t go as smoothly. Whatever you do, do with all your might. If you are going to homeschool, why not go for it? You will have a much more fulfilling experience when you do.

A boss. I work for Him. I’m not trying to sound super-spiritual, but it’s true. He’s Who I most care to please. I look forward to the day I hope to hear “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

Remuneration. My pay comes in the form of well-written papers, drive-by hugs, and peanut butter sandwiches with my kids as we watch the clouds. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all about the “Benjamins.” When my daughter won the essay contest I was paid. My hard work teaching her paid off. I don’t think of their learning success as evaluation as much as payment. And when they are able to receive scholarships to university because of what we have done in our little homeschool, I really will get paid.

Benefits. I have a day that I can schedule and a life that I order, with God’s help. I have vacations, days off (for errands) and sick days (not mine, theirs). My benefits include snuggling to read in the middle of the day and being a part of my childrens’ light bulb moments. Benefits are not always evident, so you have to look out for them and be aware–things like flexibility of schedule for things like doctor visits, not having to get out in the cold and snow to take them to school, being able to travel, taking special field trips to enhance learning and tailoring your child’s lessons to their learning style and bent.

photo courtesy m@rg

I’m convinced of it. The over-achievers are distracted with perfection and, well, over achieving. Their parents make sure they always get a trophy and always get an A and that they always feel good.

The slackers aren’t a threat because they are mostly lazy–mentally, if not physically. Their parents might not make them do chores if they don’t feel like it. They may just lack ambition and their parents don’t require more. But they are not doing much. And they aren’t going to do much. At least not unless their feelings say so.

It’s the average kids who are gonna get ‘er done. They’re the ones with a healthy self-image and a solid work ethic. Their parents aren’t so concerned with their kids’ feelings. They’re more concerned with their character–which they know is lacking at times. These kids know they aren’t always the best but they’re okay with that. The average kids know their limitations. They know they have to work hard to do things because not everything comes easily to them. But they appreciate the reward of hard work and know that if they try they can probably do it. And if they work really hard maybe they can do it really well.

There are average kids in the news every day, doing little works with love. Helping a neighbor. Writing a pen pal. Maybe even winning an award. But they are still just going to scouts, practicing their music, playing outside, doing their chores. They may not excel at much of anything but they are really good at being average, being themselves.

They know mistakes are for learning, not covering up or running from. Failure can be an excellent teacher and they learn well. Their parents probably didn’t spend a lot of time telling them how they are the most special kid ever and how they are practically perfect in every way. But their parents didn’t insult them or require nothing of them either. Their parents are probably telling them that sometimes life is messy, but they’re good kids and that if they work hard they will have a good life. So they do, and they do. And I pray that more average kids get the idea that average isn’t so average anymore. And that they will band together and take over the world–in an average way.

They know that average is a really good place to be.

Photo courtesy Swami Stream

When my pastor was preaching on this passage a few weeks ago something resonated with me. God’s time is beautiful. His seasons for us are beautiful. If your life is messy and frustrating, maybe it’s time to check and see if God is in the middle of what you are doing.

When your actions are lined up with God’s will, it will be beautiful. He has a prefect plan and He’s working it perfectly. When we get on board with that, the results are lovely. They are something others can see and enjoy. And maybe even want to have in their own lives.

I would also go so far as to say that He can make things beautiful that we have royally messed up. He can give beauty for ashes. Our little heap of ashes can become something to treasure. I don’t at all mean that struggles mean that you are doing something wrong. Life is hard. And messy sometimes too. It’s just that God has this amazing way to making it lovely. And sometimes things can seem messy at the time because all we can see are the details. When you step back and look you can see that God was working all things together for your good.

Unless you are a homeschooler with steely resolve, frustrating times can make you question you methods, your philosophy and–on a bad day–maybe even your sanity. When homeschool life is hard here are some things to  help keep you going.

• Pray and ask God to help you. The Holy Spirit is always available to listen.
• Realize this is temporary. This crisis, this illness, this life itself is temporary. Don’t lose sight of the transient nature of life.
•  Use a lifeline. Call a friend. Read your Bible. Take a hot bath. Take the school day off. Do something that re-energises you.
• Take school slow. Slow down. Find a rabbit trail, put your lessons on hold for a few days while you learn about something interesting and unexpected.
•  Just cover the basics. Don’t try to do more until you can do more. Your kids won’t suffer.
•  Write down your philosophy of education, any scriptures that you feel apply to your schooling and any inspiring quotes. Put them in a nice book and use it to encourage yourself. When times are hard, pull out that book and remind yourself why you are doing this.
• Keep a journal. It is great to vent your frustrations, question things and just plain old talk to yourself. It’s also a great place to encourage yourself and to keep record of life’s little successes.
• Take stock. Review some past work and see how far you really have come. It will jog your memory to character issues that have resolved or funny things that happened.
• Let your kids teach you. Put them in the hot seat and let them show you what they have learned. That will be good for a laugh or two and you may be surprised at how knowledgeable they really are.
• Reach out to encourage another mom. So many times when I am down I will call or write another mom and it lifts me up as well.

There is a place, not for empty platitudes, but for true encouragement. It is right and scriptural and compassionate. Who, while traveling the often difficult road of life, would not stop to comfort and strengthen a struggling soul along the way? Sometimes our dry and thirsty hearts long for the refreshing touch of another person.We may understand the idea that God is with us but sometimes we need a tangible sense of His presence in the form of a hug or an encouraging word.

A word spoken in season can be like a gentle rain, softening the ground for God’s Word to sprout forth. And hopefully this little sprout will become a tree of Life, offering fruit of the Spirit to another weary traveler on life’s highway. This is the Power of One, this life-giving relay race that depends on the generous love of one person for another.

Never think for a moment that someone may not need your kind words. You could be the difference in a bad day and a good day, between frusatration with life and a little peace. Be liberal with your kindness and stingy with your criticism and you will be surprised how even your own burden has become a little lighter.