So I’m on day three of my attempt to post every day this month. It’s a big challenge that @scotters tossed out and I sheepishly accepted.

I don’t think I’ve posted this topic—ever. I noticed there’s no fiction on this list. Hmmmm…So what I’m reading (all but one on Kindle), in no particular order:

1. One Thousand Gifts is the hands-down best book I have read in a long time. Her writing is like, well, poetry. I cried every single time I picked it up. I was sorry when I finished it. If it was ice cream I would have licked the spoon. and the bowl. and the carton.

2. The 100 Things Challenge had me at “Challenge.” It deals with American consumerism and living with less. I like it so far. It’s the latest in a series of minimalist books I’ve been reading.

3. The Productive Writer is pretty self-explanatory. Good book filled with all sorts of real world writing advice and how-to’s. I really like Sage Cohen a lot and I’ve taken one of her poetry classes online. Very helpful book!

4. George Washington’s Sacred Fire covers the faith of Washington. In a word, inspiring.

5. Answers to prayer from George Muller has delighted me to no end. His prayer life has intimidated amazed me for years and it is nice to find another of his works. I highly recommend his autobiography.

Have you read any of these? Recommend anything you are reading?

Like much of the country, we have endured a blizzard the last 36 hours. It was an amazing display of snow and wind in all its wintry glory. But to me the real story is not those who got stuck in the snow (like me), but those who were helping their neighbors.

When I got stuck there were no less than 5 people who stopped to check on me. The first pickup of 20-something dudes in hunting camo worked for about a half hour to try to pull me out–for free. I made them take the little cash I had in my wallet. They apologized they couldn’t get me out and moved on to the next stranded motorist. (BTW, stuck vehicles littered the road everywhere, including a fire truck, ambulances, city buses and even a city snow plow. This was no ordinary snowfall!)

But they weren’t the only ones. There were guys like them all over town. Neighbors helping neighbors. Those stuck in their cars on the highways pooled resources and worked together to wait out the storm. Another man an his son also came by to try to pull me out but they couldn’t either. No problem. A nearby hotel had a nice warm room and plenty of hot water (for a fee!).

It was touching to see men out in subzero blizzard conditions out looking for people they don’t know to help them out–for free. They could have been warm at home with their families but they were searching for strangers to help. It may be cold outside but my heart has never been so warm.

When I heard about @scotters challenging himself to write a post a day on his blog in February I was intrigued. It is a challenge for me to write that often! One thing I want to do on my blog this year is be more personal. I share a lot of philosophical things and some practical things but not many personal things. So this month I will try to remedy that.

So, what am I posting this first day? 10 things that make me smile

1. Warm sunshine on my skin

2. My Bible

3. A hot bath with bubbles

4. M&M’s (plain)

5. Seeing my kids having fun

6. Diet Coke with vanilla and extra ice

7. Catching my husband looking at me the way he did when we were dating

8. fat little birds

9. Well-written sentences

10. Making art in my studio

It’s the way Jesus taught.The Pharisees didn’t like his approach much. They wanted facts, rules. He got to the heart of the matter. He was able to sum up the 10 commandments in two principles. His approach frustrates the flesh but gives life to the spirit. There are more examples of His teaching methods than I can list here but I recommend the book Teaching Techniques of Jesus by Herman Horne.

It’s good to begin at the beginning. You must get to the foundation of a subject in order to master it. Beginning with principles is the first step toward subject mastery.

You can teach multiple levels because you are teaching the seeds of the subjects , so you can easily adjust it for different ages. More seed for older children, little bites of kernels for  younger ones.

There is proven success teaching from Biblical principles. America’s founding fathers were educated by principles and were able to reason from God’s word. Their excellent reasoning and ability to form our constitution were a result of their Biblical education.

The subjects are alive in His word and it makes each subject exciting and important when you see how it fits into His Story.

You learn how to learn by beginning with the foundation of a subject. The steps to discovering Biblical principles apply to any subject at any time and carry across the curriculum.

I am waiting. I am in a waiting season. I don’t like it much because I’m not very good at it, which is probably one reason for the waiting. Patience is a fruit that needs to abound in my life and there’s much to be said for letting patience have its “perfect work.”

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind. Is. 40:31 The Message

This waiting isn’t a sitting around kind; it’s the restaurant kind. We wait by waiting: serving, working, cleaning, doing. But if you are like me you get your eyes off what you are waiting for and onto what you are doing. Then it becomes all about works and busyness and just plain old doing. That’s not what God intended for us. That’s not His best.

A dear friend explained waiting this way:

When you take your children on a trip and they are asking “are we there yet?” over and over, they don’t understand the process. So you give then something to do while you take them where you are going. God does that with us. We are not saved in the activity. The activity doesn’t get us there faster or differently. It’s simply keeping us busy as we wait for God to get us there.

Joyce Meyer says patience is not just biding time but keeping a good attitude while you are waiting. Patience really is a virtue. It’s going to sustain me in the waiting. So I will keep busy writing and praying and growing and learning and loving. My life doesn’t stop in the waiting, but it doesn’t change the process either. It’s a bonus that He uses even the waiting time for my good.

Reading Ann’s post on her yearly ritual challenged and inspired me. I never had thought of doing that before but it makes sense. Naming a year seems to make it more purposeful, more important, more intimate.

So I set out to discover my own word for 2011. Like a child in a wondrous candy store, nose pressed, heated breath fogging the glass, I searched for the perfect word to summarize the focus of 2011. Would I choose something sweet and lemony like Refreshing? Maybe sugary satisfying Joy instead. Or would I select the licorice root Righteousness? Oh what a wonderful dilemma!

So while I prayerfully considered my choices I reviewed some of the scriptures that have spoken to my heart lately. Then it jumped out at me.

POUR

And if you pour out that with which you sustain your own life for the hungry and satisfy the need of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in darkness, and your obscurity and gloom become like the noonday. Is 58:10

I am poured out to be refilled.

It’s not simply “giving ’til it hurts” or until I am depleted. God doesn’t work that way. He gently and completely pours into us so that we can pour ourselves out again.

It’s such a beautiful thing when it comes full circle. Pouring to be refilled to pour out again. I am going to seek out ways to pour out to my family, my friends, the world, so that their needs might be met. And then getting refilled becomes the sweetest treat of all.

Since I have started working again I have noticed there are a few correlations between what I do now and home educating.

1. Individual attention. I have two patients and so I am able to concentrate only on them.
2. Specialization. It takes a special skill set to work as an ICU RN. It also takes a special skill set to homeschool.
3. Continuing education. You are always learning as a nurse and as a home educator. If you aren’t learning in either role then something’s wrong.
4. Critical thinking. You must constantly evaluate test results and assessments, put clues together and think three steps ahead.
5. Caring for the whole person. As a nurse I don’t just care for a person medically. I also care for their spiritual well-being and their soul as well. As a home educator the same is definitely true.
6. The little things matter. What I do–or don’t do– can make a BIG difference. And little changes in my patient can mean big things down the road. Noticing subtle changes in your children can also make a big difference down the road.
7. Caring for the vulnerable. It is my responsibility to care for those who cannot care for themselves. They are counting on me to know what to do and how to do it. I also have to teach them things they need to know until they are well enough to take care of themselves. I feel it is my responsibility to not just make sure they are still alive when I go home, but that they are well cared for, that I do all I can to make their lives better.
8. You can’t do it alone. No man is an island. We aren’t created to be isolated. Teamwork is important, even within families. Don’t be a martyr or a victim. I need help turning, double checking and sometimes just reinforcing my gut feeling when dealing with patients. Home educators can’t be lone rangers. You cannot be everything your children need all by yourself.
9. They aren’t with us very long. My patients move out of ICU ASAP. That’s a good thing and as long as they are in my unit I want to make sure they are well cared for. Our children aren’t with us long either. Before you know they seem to move from toddlerhood to high school!
10. You have to love it. You’ll burn out. You won’t do a good job. Those whose care you are charged with will resent you. You can make silly mistakes because your heart isn’t in it.

They are both critically important roles, and both extremely rewarding as well. When done right, they make a difference in the lives of the individuals in our care.

In case no one has noticed, I’ve been MIA around here. There are several reasons I want to share, hopefully to encourage some of you home educators. I hope my story isn’t too common, only because I don’t want anyone to go through what I did.

It all started more then three years ago. It began slowly and grew to take over my life. It became a giant obstacle that I couldn’t see around or get past. It was choking the very life out of me. It was, in a word, anxiety.

In the beginning it was just annoying but easy enough to manage. But like a cancer it grew and grew. It moved in, and brought with it depression. My days became an inky string of endless weeks. I struggled from hour to hour at times, trying to stay focused, trying not to panic. Many nights I paced the floor, my heart pounding out of my chest, trying to hang on until the crisis passed. I lost weight and looked ill. Many days I really felt like I might die and that was terrifying to me.

There were visits to the ER, to the doctor, to the counselor and [sometimes] to church. Just getting out of bed was a chore, and  trying to homeschool was completely overwhelming. I cried sobbed often. All of life seemed like a dark hole from which there was no hope of escape. No hope. None.

I had to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I had to put my children in school. The decision wasn’t hard because I think school is evil. It was hard because I thought I was a failure. I thought I was supposed to homeschool, so I was letting my family down because I couldn’t get myself together. I truly believe I was called to homeschool, so this wasn’t making sense to me.

I also had to get a job to pay for school, so that was a shock to my world as well. But it has been a good shock. I have met new people, gotten out of the house, done hard things and gotten a new perspective. And the money I make as a ICU RN is a nice addition to our household budget. The children have enjoyed school and I have also enjoyed delegating the educational responsibility for a while and simply wearing the hat of “mom.” I got a haircut and some new clothes because I actually felt like dressing up again. Hope has dawned on the inside, shining warm rays of joy in my heart. Thanks to God, counseling and medication I have finally returned to my “normal” and it is terrific.

This wasn’t a result of homeschooling per se, but of my response to it. I became obsessed with perfection, doing just the right thing to make sure my children “turned out right” and it was suffocating all of us. I was trying to be God, trying to ensure that if enough things were done right then they would be okay.

Looking back now, in a balanced state of mind, I would take my old self up in my arms and just hold her for a long time. I would give her a long rest and a cup of tea and nurture her. I would make sure her expectations were not too high and that she remembered to laugh and to shake off that nagging self-criticism. I would see that she had a real hobby and real life friends and time to breathe without guilt.

Will I homeschool again? I don’t know. I really hope so. Right now I am saying that I am on sabattical for a year. I am praying about what God has for our family after that. But I am still sharing my thoughts here, encouraging home educators, offering my ideas on BPA and life and whatever else comes along. I hope you’ll continue on this life’s journey with me. I always enjoy another friend on this journey through life.

“I know my own principles to be pure and therefore am not ashamed of them. On the contrary, I wish them known and therefore willingly express them to everyone. They are the same I have acted on from the year 1775 to this day, and are the same, I am sure, with those of the great body of the American people.”

Thomas Jefferson in a letter to Samuel Smith, 1798

1. Separation of powers

The regular distribution of power into distinct departments; the introduction of legislative balances and checks; the institution of courts composed of judges holding their offices during good behavior; the representation of the people in the legislature by deputies of their own election… They are means, and powerful means, by which the excellences of republican government may be retained and its imperfections lessened or avoided.

Alexander Hamilton

2. Dual form of government

Seldom today do we hear mentioned one of the most unique aspects of our Constitution—our dual form of government—the state and the nation. This refers to the national-federal structure of our Constitution. There is not a country today on the face of the globe that embodies this Christian principle of government—and we ourselves have allowed it to deteriorate.

Slater, R. J., & Hall, V. M. (1975). Teaching and learning America’s Christian history (American Revolution Bicentennial ed.) (242). San Francisco: Foundation for American Christian Education.

3. Negative rights Wikipedia

The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government – lest it come to dominate our lives and interests.
— Patrick Henry

4. Religious liberty

It cannot be emphasized too clearly and too often that this nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religion, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason, peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here.

Patrick Henry

5. Representative Republic

Modern times have discovered the only device by which the equal rights of man can be secured to wit: government by the people, acting not in person, But by representatives chosen by themselves…

Thomas Jefferson

A representative government, responsible at short intervals of election, produces the greatest sum of happiness to mankind.

Thomas Jefferson

As I watch my children growing up in this chaotic world, I am a little stunned about something. It seems that the adults have put all the “hope” for the future on the shoulders of people who don’t even shave yet. When I surf the kiddie cable channels I am amazed at the steady stream of so-called news and environmental propaganda aimed at children. The message is “you can save the world.” Um, isn’t that a lot of pressure to put on a child who probably doesn’t have all their permanent teeth yet?

Why not let children be children? With the availability of media today it is easy for a child to learn about with local murder statistics on a TV at a local restaurant, terrorism plots during talk radio news breaks or read about child molestation cases in the newspaper stand. I think where our children are concerned the children’s song is a great rule of thumb: “Oh be careful little eyes what you see…”

I do not encourage my children to “save the planet” or expose them to unfettered input of the latest worldwide catastrophes or other disasters. (Of course age does make a difference.) I do not keep my children from all news but I do filter what they know because it is my responsibility to keep them safe, and to me that includes emotional safety. I cannot in good conscience fill their heads with the myriad of troubles in today’s world. They do not have the perspective or the frame of reference to process the information they receive. They are egocentric by nature, so it is easy to make everything their fault or to distort their relationship to it.

Children shouldn’t have to look out for their parents; parents look out for the children. The Message 2 Cor. 12:14

As I Christian parent it is up to me to keep drawing my children to God, to nurture that special relationship. If I allow them to repeatedly dwell on the problems in the world their eyes are not on the solution, but the problem. They are not looking to God. They are only filled with anxiety and dismal foreboding.

13 The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. 14 The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: “Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. 15 Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” 16 Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.               The Message Mark 10:13-16

We talk about our responsibility to the planet as God’s stewards and to our fellow man. We are filled with compassion kept in perspective by scripture and prayer. We, as parents, must be careful to keep our children from taking on too much pressure and responsibility before they are adults. Childhood is a time for wonder, for exploration and for learning, not for saving the world. There’s plenty of time for that when they are grown.

18 Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. 19 Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night.                               The Message Deut. 11:18, 19